Apartment! 04/10/06
Wheee!
After five months at home, it is finally time for me to move out on my own again! I just put a deposit down on an apartment here in the LC. Oh, it's tiny, but it'll be mine and that makes me happy. $489 a month for a 1 bedroom/1 bath in the LC (home of the recently booming real estate and rental market) is pretty darn good. For an extra $20 a month, they'll throw in a washer and dryer, too.
Some of you might recall that I said: "I will live in a cardboard box if it has a washer/dryer, dishwasher and air conditioning". Well, the apartment is only slightly larger than a cardboard box, but it does have all the above mentioned amenities, so I won't complain. Much.
The complex is a small one located in a residential neighborhood, middle class, with a lot of family homes. I was looking at some of the larger apartment complexes over by all the new construction, but they were huge, all paved lots and depressing same-ness, right smack on a major road, surrounded by chain restaurants and stores, so I was happy to find something that wasn't quite as...hmmm, what phrase am I looking for? Soul-suckingly depressing. Yes.
I've just ordered some great stuff for my new bathroom. Two words: devil duckies. Heh.
Hmm. That's three.
As for decor, I'm looking towards sort of modern and streamlined, lots of black, red and gold and definitely weird. Weird things are very important.
Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, well, I suppose it could be related sort of tangentially, well, no, not really, argh, I'm not going to debate this. Anyway, two things:
1. I got to see Lynne Truss, author of 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves" last Thursday and she was hilarious! Great, great public speaker.
2. I'm going to the New Mexico Library Association annual convention thingie starting next Wednesday, all the way through Sunday. Much fun will be had.
Top 10 Reasons Why You Shouldn�t Ask Me� 04/12/06
The Library Administrator just sent out an e-mail asking us if we had any ideas to contribute to a "Top 10 List" like David Letterman's about using the Library. Of course, a million ideas flew into my mind, but she killed them when she added..."Please send me any suggestions remembering that the audience for this is elementary students." To which I said, "Damn." I don't think I've thought anything appropriate for an elementary school audience since I was in short pants. (Last week, at least).
Hee. So, here's my list, drawn from my years of working in libraries...
Top 10 Reasons to Use the Library
10. Porn
9. That cheeky Curious George
8. Library owns every book written by William Shatner
7. Book carts make surprisingly good go-carts
6. Book tape excellent when used for restraints
5. That new book smell
4. Reference librarians sexy when annoyed
3. Unlimited golf pencils
2. Fun sending inter-library loan clerk on wild goose chase for book in Swahili
1. Porn
Oh man.
Anyway, the Admin office is threatening to give me an at-risk student. It's not punishment, at least, I don't think it is. I don't have anything for an at-risk kid to do, definitely nothing that will teach them a valuable lesson about life or something. "Stapling these 8,000 copies will teach you about the value of hard work, patience and perserverance." What the heck am I? A Zen master? I think not.
I think I'll give Cute Nazi my at-risk student. Applying genre lables to books will teach the kids about the value of hard work, patience and perseverance. Plus, working with Cute Nazi will also teach them valuable lessons about taking personal calls at work, gossiping with other staff, taking 45-minute breaks and the great value of decorating the office for every holiday known to man, thus preparing them for a life of working for the government.
It's hot outside, of course. Mom refuses to turn on the air conditioner until the house becomes a sweltering hell-hole, usually late May, early June. Luckily, I'm moving in 2 weeks to an apartment with refrigerated air and ceiling fans, where I will hunker down and wait out the evil, shoe-melting heat.
I find that the less time spent outside from the months of May-September, the better. I've also discovered that my automatic car starter, originally put in my car to deal with winter, works equally well in the summer. If I start my car a few minutes before I get in it, the air conditoner has time to lower the interior heat to a more reasonable 97 degrees.
My mind is squirreling around. Oh, the mayor is coming to the library next week to work the circulation desk. Our mayor is...well, he's a bit of an idiot. Since we have a city manager, his sole function is to wander around and kiss babies. He's a bit like the British royal family, only with better teeth. Last time he went somewhere, he read to a bunch of school kids. Then, he had them tell him everything that was wrong with their neighborhoods. And THEN, he went to the City Council with this list of complaints by 7 year olds and asked why these things weren't being dealt with. I can only imagine...
"Why don't the water fountains dispense cherry Kool-Aid, Councilor #1?*"
"Councilor #2, why have you not passed a resolution confirming that girls are, in fact, icky and full of cooties?"
"Councilor #3, I want you to explain to little Bobby here why you haven't confirmed that Timmy's a liar, liar, with pants on fire? I want explanations!"
See? He's an idiot. (The above scenario was solely enacted in my head. But somehow, I suspect I wasn't too far off the mark.)
So, we're kind of nervous about him coming here and wreaking havoc. The head of Public Services is coming with him to keep a leash and muzzle on him so he doesn't promise some kid that we'll buy every Jackie Chan movie ever made or that we'll open a nursery or something. We are, however, making him work the circ desk during the busiest time and, the reference librarians are secretly plotting to answer any questions like this: "Why don't you have more books on...?" or "Why don't you offer...?" with "Why don't you ask that white-haired guy standing all confused over at the circ desk." Because the reference librarians are evil.
Speaking of reference, I have to go work the reference desk in half an hour. For some reason, the crazies always save up their crazy questions and wait for me to work the desk before they ask them. "How are the Ms put on the M&Ms?" ; patron holding up a lunch baggie with a squished spider in it, "I found this in my bed last night. Can you tell me what it is?" "Hello. I've never used a computer in my life and I resent being helped, but I need to do something incredibly complicated on one of your computers and I need you to do it for me while I tell you that you're doing it wrong."
Le sigh. Well, off to the coal mines. To mine...er...information. Hmmm. I wonder if you can get "information lung"? I wonder if I've reached some mythical level of nerdom by asking that question? Better not to know. Toodles!
*The names of these City councilpeople have been changed to reflect not only their sort of uselessness and interchangeability, but also to protect my job. It may annoy me, but it does pay the bills.
