Since I havet'call people with late books, do you think it would be funt'call them scurvy dogs and threatent'send them downt'see ol' Hob?
Evil Patron: Hello?
Pirate Librarian: Avast ye scallywag! Brin' ye late books lest ye be sent to dance with Jack Ketch!
Evil Patron: Huh?
Pirate Librarian: Ye be sent a black spot last week, ye bilge rat!
Evil Patron: Is this some kind of joke?
Pirate Librarian: Nay, this be not a joke, ye swab! Ye have Practical Feng Shui, it be two weeks late!
Evil Patron: Oh. I see. Can I renew it right now?
Pirate Librarian: Nay! There be a waitin' list! Many a buckaneer be waitin' for the chance to reorganize their quaters!
Evil Patron: All right, I'll bring it back tomorrow.
Pirate Librarian: Aye, ye will, lest ye is desirous of a floggin'!
Evil Patron: Right.
Pirate Librarian: Arr!
Pirate Terms:
Avast-A command meaning stop or desist
Aye-Yes; an affirmation.
Bilge Rat-(1) A rat living in the bilge of a ship. It is considered the lowliest creature by pirates, but many pirates take to eating the animals to survive. (2) An insulting name given by a pirate.
Black Spot-A black smudge on a piece of paper used by pirates as a threat. A black spot is often accompanied by a written message specifying the threat. Most often a black spot represents a death threat.
Buckaneer-A pirate, especially one of the freebooters who preyed on Spanish shipping in the West Indies during the 17th century. The buccaneers were first hunters of pigs and cattle on the islands of Hispanola and Tortuga, but were driven off by the Spanish and turned to piracy. Buccaneers were said to be heavy drinking, cruel pirates.
Flogging-The act of beating a person severely with a rod or whip, especially the cat or the punishment of being beaten.
Jack Ketch-The hangman. To dance with Jack Ketch is to hang.
Scallywag-A villainous or mischievous person.
Swab- A disrespectful term for a seaman. ie: "Man that gun, ye cowardly swabs!"
Terms courtesy of A Pirate's Glossary of Terms
and English-to-Pirate Translator
