Q. Would you date someone who was goofy?
See, I�ve observed that in movies, sometimes the heroine is a little�quirky, but it�s endearing. Guys apparently love that shit. All you need is a crazy grandmother or a penchant for crockery and it�s all good.
I�m not quirky. I�m not Meg Ryan cute and perky. (I am, however, a poet)
I�m just nuts. Goofy, eccentric. I cackle. Sometimes I talk in strange voices. And I squeal. My friends think I�m hilarious and fun to hang out with. Sadly, however, when it comes to guys, I�ve cackled myself into the �buddy� corner.
I don�t want to be a buddy, dammit! I want a guy who thinks that a girl who accidentally snorts Pepsi up her nose when she laughs too hard is sexy. I want a guy who thinks my Sean Connery impression is a turn-on (but not because he fantasizes about Sean Connery. I mean, that�s just gross. The man is what, 1,000 years old? And a guy). And if I spill guacamole on my shirt, I want him to fantasize about licking it off. Is that so wrong?
I don�t have some huge list of requirements myself. I just want a guy who makes me laugh. I don�t care if he drinks or smokes or drives a lime-green Gremlin. I don�t care if he secretly listens to Paula Abdul albums or watches The Game Show Network. Okay, I might worry about the Paula Abdul thing.
Don�t guys want to date a girl who likes her space, is not too clingy and would encourage him to hang out with his friends? I can cook. I don�t like sports, but hey, I don�t care if he does, and if he wants to watch the big game, I promise I won�t demand he mow the lawn.
I also wouldn�t insist the guy go shopping with me or change himself to fit my ideal man requirements.
Damn it! I sound awesome! I would date me! Sigh.
Ugh. I sound whiny, actually.
This is the 21st century! I am NOT Bridget Jones. I don�t need to be sprogged up. I have a cat and this the age of technology, if you catch my drift. I AM WOMAN! HERE ME ROAR!
Where�s the lighter fluid? I have a bra to burn!
