Have you ever wished you could just not be you for a while? You know, abandon your life and slip into someone else's? I wish that right now. I'd slip into the life of someone who has nothing important to do or say, you know, someone who doesn't know what's going on in the world, and if they did know, wouldn't care. Someone like Paris Hilton. Yes, I think I'd like to be Paris Hilton for a while. I figure it's kind of like being in purgatory, but with paparrazzi.

I've got so much to do in the next few months that I'm absolutely overwhelmed. I almost feel like I'm being stretched in so many different directions that I don't have the time or energy to do all the things I have to do well, which means that I'm doing a half-assed job everywhere. I'm not used to being half-assed. Nor am I used to putting in 16 hour days, having a DayRunner so I don't just flounder around like a moron and not having any time to goof off.

I cherish my private time. I rarely ever work once I get home. Home used to be a neutral zone, where only useless activities were practiced. That's how I kept sane while balancing work and school. But now even my home life is being invaded. I have to do work at home, otherwise it won't get done. I hate it.

I don't think I like being in charge anymore. Responsibility is a big downer. It's kind of nervewracking to have so many things depending on me. ME. I once got stuck in a trashcan. I've gotten my foot wedged in a toilet. I've superglued my fingers together so many times, it's a miracle I've still got them. But I'm in charge. Decisions rest with me. Yikes. It seems wrong, somehow. Like I've faked everyone into believing that I'm smart and capable.

They'll soon find out the truth, I guess.

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