I'm posting the original Italian and then the English translation. The Italian makes the smut look so pretty. Plus, it's always fun to learn new bad words in foreign languages.
Sonetto 16
Tu pur a gambe in collo in cul me l'hai
Ficcato questo cazzo, urta fraccassa
Del letto mi rituobo in su la cassa
O che piacer e questo che me dai,
Ritornami su 'l letto, che mi fai
Crepar qui sotto, con la testa bassa
Dolor de figli, merda questo passa
Amor crudel, a che redutto me hai.
Che pensi tu di far? Quel, che ti piace,
Dammi la lingua un poco, anima mia:
Assai dimanda, chi ben serv'e tace,
La potta alquanto di piacer vorria;
Se non tra lei, e il cul non sia mai pace;
Spinge compar che'l cazzo sen' va via.
Certo morta saria
Se stava un poco piu haver ristoro
Da te mio ben, mio cor, e mio thesoro.
Translation: Sonnet 16
"Even with my legs around your neck, you've managed to thrust your cock into my ass. Bang! Crash! Starting in the bed, I end up on the bedstead."
"Oh, what a pleasure this is that you give me."
"Get me back on the bed, or you'll make me kneel over down here, with my head hanging down. Shit, what a pain, but it will pass; cruel Love, you've reduced me to this. What do you think you're doing?"
"Exactly what pleases you."
"Give me your tongue a bit, sweetheart; whoever serves well and in silence needen't ask. My pussy wants a great deal of pleasure; if not, between her and my ass there will never be peace. Push, my dear fellow, because your prick is disappearing. Certainly I would die if I had to wait any longer to be restored by you, my darling, my sweetheart, my precious."
Tee hee. If Larry Flynt had lived during the Renaissance, he would have published this.
But wait...there's more!
Epilogo
Vedute havete le reliquie tutte
De' cazzi horrendi in le potte stupende,
Se haveste visto far quelle facende
Allegramente a queste belle putte.
E di dietro e dinnazi dar le frutte,
E ne le bocche le lingue a vicende
E son cose da farne le legende,
Si come di Morgante e di Margutte.
E so ch'un gran piacer havete havuto
A veder dar in potta, e'n cul da stretta.
In un modo che pin non s'e fottuto,
E come spesso nel naso si getta
L'odor del pepe, e quel de lo sternuto,
Che fanno stranutar con molta fretta
Cosi ne la brachetta
Del fotter, l'odor corrotti sete
E toccatela con man se no'l credete.
Questi vostri sonetti fatti a cazzi
Sergenti de li culi, e de le potte,
E che son fatti a culi a cazzi a potte,
S'assomigliano a voi visi de cazzi;
Al men portaste lance al volto a i cazzi
Ove ascondesti in culi, e ne le potte,
Poeti fatti a culi, a cazzi, a potte,
Che se'l favor vi manca, o novi cazzi
Retornarete ad esser lica potte
Com'il piu de le volte sono i cazzi.
Qui finiro, il suggetto de la potte,
Per non esser nel numer di voi cazzi
E lasciarovvi i cazzi in culi o in potte.
Translation: Epilogue
You have seen all the remains of the horrible cocks in stupendous pussies if you have seen the joyous doing of these deeds to these lovely young girls, banging them both in front and behind, with one another's tongue in each other's mouth. And these things are the stuff of legends, like those of Morgante and Margutte.
And I know that you have had great pleasure in seeing it fit tight in pussies and asses in a way that couldn't be fucking better. And just as the smell of pepper and other poweders, arising to the nose, often immediately causes furious sneezing, so the odor of screwing has caused you to explode in your codpiece. And if you don't believe me, check it with your hands.
These sonnets of yours in honor of pricks who serve asses and pussies, and that are made of asses, pricks and pussies, resemble you, dickhead readers. At least you could thrust lances in the faces of the pricks or hide yourselves in asses and in pussies, poets made of asses, cocks and pussies. So if you lose favor, oh neophyte pricks, return to being pussy-whipped, as most cocks usually are. Here ends the story of the pussies, because they are not as numerous as you pricks; and I will leave you pricks in asses and in pussies.
Points for guessing what the Italian words for ass, cock and pussy are. Just look for words that appear in the text a lot.
Dear God. Reading these, I alternated between gales of belly shaking laughter, (I don't think I've ever seen a poet made of asses, cocks and pussies)and jaw-dropping amazement. Do they sound like sonnetts written during the Renaissance? Because they most surely are.
These sonnets are required reading for a Renaissance art history class. Right now I bet you're thinking, "Damn, I should have taken more art history classes in college", or, alternately, "Damn, I'll be sure to take art history classes in college."
By the way, these sonnetts were accompanied by pictures. Ijole. Right now I'm thinking I should have taken more art history classes. And I minored in it. Maybe if I had spent less time trying to figure out Jackson Pollock and more time looking at what would surely send some of our more conservative members of Congress (Orrin Hatch! I'm talking about you!)into cardiac arrest, I would have enjoyed college more.
Source:
Chapter: The Licentious Sonnets of Pietro Aretino (I sonetti lussuriosi di Pietro Aretino)
'Taking Positions: On the erotic in Reaissance culture' by Bette Talvacchia
Princeton University Press, 1999
