Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

What's French for Ewww?


2004-06-07 at 11:20 p.m.

Okay, ew. Just...ew.

Tonight is severe gross-out night at Chez Gem-chan. It started with the world's biggest fucking spider in my bathroom, hovering over my toilet waiting to get the drop on me, continued over into a massive ant attack and ended with my upstairs neighbor's toilet.

So, the spider...it apparently doesn't respect the fact that I have to pee. It lives above my toilet and shows no signs of leaving. I tried spraying it, but that only seemed to anger it. So, until it moves, I'm peeing in the bathtub.

As for the ants...I thought I had them under control. I was very liberal with some ant spray and they seemed to disappear. Now, all of the sudden, there's like a million fucking ants in my kitchen. I sprayed so many chemicals in there, I'm beginning to get light headed. Where the hell do they come from? I put traps and poisons out, I cleaned and vacuumed, why do they insist on tormenting me? WHY?

And now, for the big one: my upstairs neighbor's toilet. Apparently, he has a clog. I know this because the ceiling in my dining room is leaking a foul smelling brown water. That and the leak pattern on my ceiling is in the shape of the bottom of a fucking toilet.

As for randy, drunken upstairs neighbor, he's either passed out or not home, 'cause nobody's answering. So, if I write an entry tomorrow beginning with "and then a toilet dropped into my dining room", well, at least you'll know why.

Gross, gross, GROSS!!!!!

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