I'll keep trying to claw my way back up the slope to coolness by listening to Poe (the singer, not the writer) and wearing shirts that show off my tattoo.
I'm cool, damn it! So what if I listen to Keane and get all weepy?! Maybe it's that time of the month. You know, when soft-rock is appealing and suddenly, Kelly Ripa seems less annoying. And when you wonder just what the hell is going on with Stefano and Marlena on Days of Our Lives. (OK, frankly, it's been so long since I've actually watched DOOL,that I have no idea if Marlena and Stefano are still on the show).
So, the head librarian of the Library of the Underworld basically asked me why the hell I was wasting my time applying for the Circulation Assistant job. I told her that the hours were perfect for my life. It's all about convenience, baby. It leaves my days free to frolick at the Wee Public Library. God, what is wrong with these people?
Mom says the evil slag doesn't want me because she feels threatened by me, which I think is pretty stupid. I have no designs on her job. Hell, they asked me to apply for it and I said NO! AHHHH! NOOOOO! I have no interest in office politics or getting raises or rocking the boat. All I want is a bloody paycheck.
But Mom says it's not that I've come off as power hungry or anything, it's the deadly combination of my college degree, pending MLS, my tendency to use large words and my go-getter attitude, where I would attempt to make things better by making suggestions.
So, apparently, what the LOU wants is someone who is:
1. Not college educated
2. Not intelligent
3. Not interested in his/her job beyond what is absolutely necessary
4. A buck-toothed moron
Right. Mom gave me some suggestions to make myself less threatening, most of which involved NOT using words like 'erudite', 'ennui', 'Freudian', 'reputed', 'niche' and basically any other word that involves more than two syllables or a high school education.
She also told me not to use the word 'wang', but I personally think she's the only one with a problem with that word.
*Sigh*
On a happier note, one of my friends at the LOU talked me up at another local library so I might be able to get a job there.
I'll just have to remember to be a buck-toothed moron until I ascertain what sort of attitude would be conducive to a a successful career there.
Damn it. I just re-read the above paragraph and already I can see that I will have a problem pretending to be stupid.
Let me re-write that. Ahem...
"I'll just have to remember to be a buck-toothed moron until I figure out how to act so's I won't be pissin' nobody off."
There. You know, it was really rather difficult trying to write something stupid sounding. I'll have to practice being dumb.
Currents...
Currently Reading...
Erm...I'm out of books! THE UTTER TRAGEDY!!!! AHHHH!
Currently Hearing...
Poe, 'Haunted'
Keane, 'Hopes and Fears' (shut up)
Currently Watching...
Damn, VH-1 is kind of addictive, as is A&E.
Currently Nail Polish Color...
Maybelline Wet Shine, Succulent
Current Mild Annoyance...
The actual title to the Black Eyed Peas song 'Let's Get It Started' is 'Let's Get Retarded'. I swear it. The library owns the CD. Political correctness strikes again. Also, on 'Remembering the '80s' or whatever on VH-1, they bleeped out the word 'retarded' when someone said it in reference to the RETARDED guy on L.A. Law. Annoying.
