Well, my trip was great. I only had a few incidents. I fell into a hole and I discovered that, when given the choice, mosquitos almost always go for the white meat. And, in a place filled with Mexicans, I AM the white meat.
Admittedly, Bobito blazed a trail when he married Momdingo thirty-six years ago. He was the first white guy in the family and, like Jesus, he suffered for all the white man's sins so other white people could marry into the family with less hassle. He likes to remind all my white relatives of that when they get uppity.
My point is, there were a lot more white people at this reunion than there used to be. But the mosquitos still seemed to have a jones for me. Tragic. (By the way, I've discovered that the best way to both enrage and confuse my mom is to call her Momdingo. She totally hates it.)
Oh and hey, did I ever mention that Big Al is finally engaged? 'Cause he is. No more false alarms, the boy is planning to get hitched next June. His fiancee asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. I said yes. How exciting! I've never been a bridesmaid before.
Once, I was an attendant in a quincinera, which is kind of like a wedding, except no one gets married. But I had to wear an ugly dress and dance with a six-foot tall Chinese guy with sweaty hands, so it's kind of like being a bridesmaid. Anyway, I digress.
I've got about nine months or so to loose some weight and I'm gonna do it. I've never really been motivated to do it before, but hell, if I'm gonna wear an ugly dress, I want to look good while doing it.
Big Al has to become a Catholic, so Bobito and I are taking bets on whether or not Grandpa is going to come back from the dead and kick my brother's ass. Grandpa HATED Catholics. Every night before bed he would pray that the Pope would get struck by lightning. We'll see. If you see anything in the news about a zombie attacking a lawyer, then you'll know that I'm $50.00 richer.
Also in wedding news, the wedding is going to be a huge Mexican Catholic thing. For those of you who are neither Mexican nor Catholic, that means that the wedding will pretty much last for three days. One day for the wedding, two days for partying. And on Monday everyone goes to confession. There's going to be lots of Mexican food, Mariachis and drunk Mexicans. It will be fun. I'll mangle some Spanish, drink of few margaritas and molest some mariachis. Woo hoo!
0 yo me acquesto son los hombres gratisr
