I grew up in the big, bad city, but since I moved to E'ville, I've been questioned by the police more times than I would have ever thought possible living in mother-humpin' Mayberry.
Of course, the state trooper was young and somewhat attractive in that "I'm armed and have no sense of humor" kind of way, and there I was, crusty-eyed, in my oldest elderly lady green plaid night shirt with the big-ass bleach stain right on the front and my hair sticking up like I'd been electrocuted. Not exactly the beginning of some smutty story. I need to buy a negligee and I need to start waking up sexy.
I wonder what nefarious crime has been committed. I suppose after I sexy myself up I'll go across the street and ask Norm the frickin' barber what's up. Or I could ask Murray the frickin' cop during the one hour he's actually on duty. Or I'll chuck it all and just ask the little old lady down the street. She knows everything anyway.
