Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Owww....my ass!


2004-02-10 at 2:52 a.m.

Oh Lord, I am in pain.

Because I'm lazy, I never bothered to shovel my front steps. I just have these two clear spots I carefully step in to get from the porch to the driveway. Never had a problem UNTIL TONIGHT.

My foot slipped and I fell. I have the nastiest bruises on my right forearm and my ass. Waaaa. I want my mommy. Wait...maybe that's not a good idea...

Me: Mom...I fell and now I have boo-boos on my arm and my butt! .:sniffle:.

Mom: Boo-boos, eh? Well, why did you fall?

Me: .:mutters something under breath:.

Mom: What was that, dear?

Me: Maybe I didn't shovel off my steps.

Mom: Well, then, darling, it's your own fault you fell. Quit whining and go put some ice on your ass.

Me: Meanie.

Mom: Go fall victim to something that's NOT due to your own stupidity and then I'll feel sorry for you.

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