Never in my life: have I been to Europe. Damn it.
When I was five: I was reading at a fifth grade level.
High School was: okay. I was cocky.
I will never forget: the night my mom called me to tell me my father had been in an accident.
I once met: James Carville.
There�s this girl I know who: had a baby that looked like a monkey.
Once, at a bar: I was beaten at Trivial Pursuit despite the fact that I was stone-cold sober and my opponent was sloppy drunk. Damn it.
By noon I�m usually: wondering why I'm not still in bed. Being a responsible adult sucks.
Last night: I went to bed early.
If I only had: a brain! Ha! No, money. It's always about money.
Next time I go to church, I: will be at my brother's wedding, wondering if God thinks my pink dress is funny or offensive.
When I turn my head left, I see: the wall and my big picture window with stained glass.
When I turn my head right, I see: my bedroom and my Hostess cupcake sheets. Mmm...chocolate.
You know I�m lying when: I don't look you in the eye.
What I miss most about the eighties: Hm. Communism? Voodoo economics? IranContra? Nah. I don't think I miss much about the '80s, except the fact that I was too young to have any worries or responsibilities. That rocked.
If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I�d be: Puck.
By this time next year: I'll have a Master's Degree and God willing, a job that pays a living wage.
A better name for me would be: Librarian of DOOM. Although lately Mom's been wishing that she named me Fiona.
I have a hard time understanding: people who think George Bush is doing a good job, Greek.
If I ever go back to school I�ll: whack myself in the head with a hammer as punishment.
You know I like you if: I smack you.
If I won an award, the first person I�d thank would be: myself, for being so awesome. Ha. No, probably my parents. And then the Academy.
Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens, and Geraldine Ferraro: All good names for cats.
Take my advice, never: take yourself too seriously.
My ideal breakfast is: French toast, bacon, eggs and homefries.
A song I love, but do not have is: Lay Lady Lay by Bob Dylan
If you visit my hometown, I suggest:
eating some righteously delicious Mexican food.
Tulips, character flaws, microchips, and track stars: the plot of a movie of the week? I have no idea.
Why won�t anyone: pay teachers, librarians, social workers and other people working for the public what they're worth?
If you spend the night at my house, don�t: use the bathroom sink. It's broken.
I�d stop my wedding: if Matthew McConaghey asked me to.
The world could do without: hate.
I�d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: vote Republican.
My favorite blonde is: Baby J.
Paper clips are more useful than: staples. Staples hurt.
If I do anything well, it�s: snark.
The last time I was drunk, I: was 17, visiting my brother's college. Don't drink the punch, people. Seriously.
And, by the way: my toenails are bright, sparkly pink.
Currents...
Currently Reading...
Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese by Mike Nelson
Currently Hearing...
The Reduced Shakespeare Company, vol. 1
(Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet)
Currently Watching...
Whatever bloody saga is on the Discovery Health Channel.
