Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Alms for the poor?


2003-11-13 at 1:36 a.m.

Ugh. Have I ever mentioned how much I *hate* being an adult?

These past few days have been rather stressful for me. Let me tell you why. First of all, the church doesn�t want to rent the parsonage to me, so I�ll have to find another place to live. The best I can come up with is an apartment that would require me to put $825.00 down (first month�s rent and deposit). This is on top of the rent I have to pay the church for this month and December, even though it looks like I�m going to be moving out in December. So, I�ll be paying rent for two different places. That puts me at�let�s see�$1,425.00 so far.

But I�m not done. Nope. Due to various amounts of stupidity on both my part and Syracuse University�s part, I now seem to owe them $2,300.00 in tuition from last summer, a matter I thought had been resolved when my financial aid had been deposited. Apparently not. They won�t let me apply the $2,300.00 to next semester�s financial aid package, despite the fact that I will definitely have the money to pay for it then. Right, so, the total is now $3,725.00.

Let�s add to that the fact that this apartment I�m going to rent is unfurnished. I have no furniture. Well, that�s not entirely true. I have a lamp. And some plastic bookshelves.

So, shopping with extreme care, I could probably pull together the basics, a bed, maybe a chair, and a few other things for around $600.00. Okay, now I�m at $4,325.00.

I checked my bank account today and I have a grand total of $300.00 in it. I have a credit card with $1,000.00 on it at my disposal. So, I have $1,300.00. You do the math. It�s tragic. Severely tragic.

When it rains it pours, I suppose. I had to listen to my mom tell me how stupid I am for digging this hole and even my brother jumped on the bandwagon, the little bastard. My father went into lawyer mode and deposed me. Have you ever had a deposition taken? Basically, he asked me questions for an hour in order to determine just how stupid I really was. It�s very harrowing to be under a spotlight for that long, your personal flaws being exposed. He then lectured me for another hour on my irresponsibility and told me to get myself out of this hole. He gave me a lot of good advice and, once he was done beating me over the head, he was very sweet, but still. I�m in pain here, people.

I have to go to the bank tomorrow and beg them to give me a loan. Since my credit is shitty, I doubt they will, even if I put on my best puppy dog face. I�m pulling out all the stops. I�m going to shave my legs and wear a skirt. A SKIRT, PEOPLE. My father said he would sign on as a guarantor on my loan, but he told me that it was time he and my mom stopped coddling me, since their coddling is what got me into this mess in the first place.

See, I�ve been very, very lucky. My parents, who grew up poor and worked hard to achieve success, wanted to provide everything for my brother and me. As a result, I, while never exactly spoiled, had most things I ever wanted. I never had to deal with money or the idea of budgeting. If I got myself into a bind, they�d help me out. At the same time, I was required to work during the summers and I did work during college to help pay for my education. And I hold down two jobs now, so it�s not like I�m entirely living off my parents� largesse, but they were always there to help me if I screwed up, my financial safety net.

But they�ve decided to let me be an adult for once. Intellectually, I appreciate what they�re doing. They are trying to help me be independent and teach me a lesson. They realize they made a mistake by trying to shield me from the unpleasantness of the real world, and they are making up for it. I know they love me and I�m not angry, actually, I�m grateful they�ve helped me as much as they have and will continue to do until I get out of grad school. But, emotionally, I just want to cry. I have cried, in fact. This whole thing has really worn me down. I just want my daddy to fix it.

My first foray into adulthood has ended in near disaster. I suppose it wouldn�t take a psychic to figure out what my New Year�s resolution is going to be for 2004. 2003�s resolution was to remember to send everyone a card for their birthday, a resolution that, so far, I have managed to stick to. Right. Oh, what a difference a year makes.


Hm, you know, I happened to stumble across 'Braveheart' the other day on TV and as Mel Gibson uttered his famous line: "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!"

I thought to myself, "Well, no, actually, I'm pretty sure they did."

I just thought I would share that with you.

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