Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

In accordance with the prophecy...


2004-03-12 at 12:13 a.m.

This was posted on an anime forum I'm active in. It made me laugh, in accordance with the prophecy.

Ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of your checks, write "For Sexual Favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you�re not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won, I Won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".

I'm fairly certain my father once did #19 as a joke.

And, I have definitely asked my best friend, who is getting her Master's Degree in poetry #13. She always gets mad. Feh.


In other rambling type news, some very, very obnoxious kids just came in and asked me where to find books by Nietzsche. I told them to look under N. I wonder how much longer they'll be downstairs looking.


A quiz:

HASH(0x8b16ee8)
You are CLARISSA EXPLAINS IT ALL. She is a rad
chick with absolutely no fashion sense. If you
are a guy and chose this... you are gay.



Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I have fashion sense, dammit!


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