Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Shake it like a polaroid.


2004-02-07 at 10:15 p.m.

Damn but that Outkast song is a wee bit addictive. It's stuck in my head. I found myself humming it as I was cleaning my bathroom.

Yes, I do clean my bathroom. The rest of my apartment may be an ultimate disaster, but I always keep my bathroom clean. I don't know why, exactly, other than it's just gross if you don't.

My kitchen is a mess. The pots and dishes in the sink are about a week away from reaching sentience.

What makes the apartment worse is that there's bags of trash piling up in the kitchen. See, there's a dumpster outside, but it's impossible to get to because there's about 15 feet of accumulated and plowed snow blocking the way, plus melted water froze on top so even if I COULD get to the damn thing, I wouldn't be able to open the dumpster anyway.

So, what the other residents of my building have been doing is sneaking to the dumpster that serves the bar next door and dumping their trash there. Obviously, I'm going to have to do this before my trash and my dishes stage a coup and take over my apartment. I just have to get up the guts to sneak over to the Huff Brau in the dead of night, hefting all my trash.

I did clean a bit today so I don't feel entirely like a slug, but the apartment is still messy. But it's better, anyway. I did some dishes and they made me gag. It's not as bad as the time I left a plate for so long that maggots hatched on it (Ugh, I know, it's soo disgusting and a long story involving an unfortunate foray into tofu cookery whose results were so vile, the plate ended up hidden for about a month)but it was still pretty nasty.

I guess I'm a slob because I'm rebelling against my mother who takes clean to a near psychotic level. Growing up, my room was a haven of messiness in a house that was otherwise like a museum, to quote Ferris Bueller. It was very cold and you couldn't touch anything. And now, I'm still a slob. Except for the bathroom. I can't abide by a dirty bathroom. I know, I know. Wierd. I'm some strange combination of my parents.

At the library, I'm called the 'Library Nazi' because of my near-psychotic need to straighten, arrange, organize, clean and otherwise neaten the whole place. Heaven forbid a book isn't put in the right place or a display is wrecked. If a book is removed from a display for check out, I'm there, immediately putting a new book out to replace it. That's my mom right there.

At home, I drop my coat on the floor when I come in, kick off my shoes, throw my socks on the floor, leave plates and glasses everywhere, and generally ignore the mess. That's my father.


I briefly considered doing the Friday Five, but I didn't think of myself as particularly adventurous.

But then I thought about it. I actually am kind of adventurous. Soo...here goes:

1. What's the most daring thing you've ever done?

My junior year of college, I volunteered to help a pregnant friend of mine raise her baby during our senior year, even though I knew nothing about babies and was about as responsible as...well, let's just say I was irresponsible.

2. What one thing would you like to try that your mother/friend/significant other would never approve of?

I can't think of anything I'd do now...but I know that getting my 2 tattoos was pretty daring for me and my mother most definitely did NOT approve.

3. On a scale of 1-10, what's your risk factor? (1=never take risks, 10=it's a lifestyle)

6

4. What's the best thing that's ever happened to you as a result of being bold/risky?

Helping Special K out with her baby. Because I got to know her and she became one of my closest friends and I got Baby J, who is almost like a daughter to me. One of the best and riskiest things I've ever done.

5. ... and what's the worst?

Deciding to move 2,000 miles away from home for college. Except for the last year with Baby J and Special K, I was absolutely miserable. I hated school. But it all worked out in the end, so maybe that's not too terrible.

Friday 5

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