I don't know why, but for some reason, stylists tend to have a deep-seeded visceral aversion to my eyebrows. Last year I was manhandled by my mom's stylist because apparently, my eyebrows had been pissing her off for years. And this year, well...

I went to the mall in search of a shirt to go with the awesome suit I bought that was just so cool that no shirt on earth goes with it and while I was there I decided why the hell not get my hair cut?

Right. So, I went into one of those Salons 'n a Box and as the lady was shampooing my hair, she asked if she could do my eyebrows because apparently I have "tiny eyes". I was so horrified by the idea of having ginormous eyebrows overshadowing my teeny, tiny little pinprick eyes that I let her have her way with me and some hot wax. I now look surprised.

As for my hair, well...it's big. HUGE. She liked my natural curls so she amped them up and now I feel like all that's standing between me and a career as a beauty contestant is a bikini wax and some petroleum jelly. For the TEETH, you dirty minded people.

So, to sum up: tiny eyes, tinier eyebrows and BIG, BIG hair. I have my own satellite circling my big ass hair.

< < last ... next > >