Me, running around my lawn, shrieking, being chased by THE BIGGEST WASP IN THE WORLD (hereafter known as TBWITW). TBWITW was not impressed with my sad attempts to kill it with high powered wasp death spray and let me know it. It chased me around for a good ten minutes before it finally dive bombed into the grass and died, but only after I had dropped the equivalent of 2 tons of wasp napalm on its ass.
See, when I woke up this morning and went to take a shower, I discovered that the hallway leading to the bathroom had become a defacto wasp nest. There was no way I was running that gauntlet, personal hygeine be damned. I went to drop a wasp bomb on their asses and discovered that I was out of spray. So, I went to the grocery store in all my skanky glory and bought some more of that lovely, lovely wasp spray.
As I was waiting for my cashier to finish telling her long story about her evil ex-boyfriend to the bag girl, I happened to glance at the label:
NEVER USE INDOORS, HIGHLY TOXIC.
Well, shit. I have been using the same stuff inside for about a week now. You remember how yesterday I said I had the flu? Well...heh. It appears that my 'flu' was actually a case of poisoning. D'oh! I thought it was odd that I only seemed to be achy. I remembered the flu having a lot more symptoms than just extreme muscle pain. Even my hair hurt.
It warns of something like that on the can: IT CAN CAUSE PAIN AND DISCOMFORT IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO USE IT INDOORS. EVEN YOUR HAIR WILL HURT. GOOD GOING, GEM-CHAN. I SEE YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATION HAS RENDERED YOU USELESS IN REAL WORLD SITUATIONS. SURE, YOU CAN HYPOTHESIZE ABOUT THE ORIGINS OF ANTI-SEMITISM, OR WAX ELOQUENT ON THE FILMS OF FELLINI, BUT YOU CAN'T READ A DAMN LABEL NOW, CAN YOU?
Grr. Stupid wasp spray. So, I sprayed it outside on the windows and the wasp nest I discovered on our porch. They've decided to come in my bedroom window now because I didn't spray it, seeing as the spray only has a 20' reach and my bedroom window is on the second floor, too far and high to hit with the spray.
I'm getting fed up with all this wasp crap. If they don't stop pissing me off soon, then I will have to call an exterminator. And I will make my landlords (sweet people that they are) pay for it since the wasps wouldn't be getting in if it wasn't for the shoddy job that one of the board members' son did installing the new windows upstairs. I took pictures and, as soon as I get them developed, I'll post some here just so you can see that I'm not exaggerating at all. It's totally disgusting.
In Other News...
They raised the rent on that apartment I was lusting after. From $650 to $750 a month. I think $100 is a pretty steep rise, don't you? I'm pretty sure that the first guy I talked to who quoted me the lower prices had his head up his ass and was reading a price list on his colon.
I can't afford it, the beautiful, beautiful apartment with wood floors and a wrought iron balcony. *Sob*
So, I looked around some more and found a place that'll run me about $450 a month, $500 if gas prices go up this winter. It's a converted garage with a loft bedroom. It's a bit...bijou, to tell the truth. But, the landlord has a good reputation (I knew his last few tenants, small town), he allows cats, he just installed a new water heater and shower and he pays electric and heat.
I made an offer on it, but I won't be able to move in until December. He said that if no one takes the place before November, then I can pay the first month's rent and the place is all mine. I hate the fact that I have to move in December, and that I'll be leaving Hilde in a strange new place for two weeks while I go home to Texas for Christmas. Stupid roommate, so determined to move out before the New Year. I'd stay in the parsonage, but I can't afford it.
Blah. That's it! The minute she leaves I am becoming the most selfish person on earth! No more bending my life to fit other people's. No more spending my precious weekends doing the bidding of others when I'd rather be at the movies, snarfing popcorn and watching 'School of Rock'! I am done being helpful and selfless! Screw it!
Ahem. Sorry. I blame the copious amounts of poison currently circulating through my body for that outburst. And President Bush, because I blame him for everything.
