1. Fell asleep on the couch while watching "The Wiggles" with Baby J. Had creepy semi-erotic Wiggle dream. Ick.
2. Accidentally flirted with a lesbian.
3. Burped over the PA system while doing closing announcement.
4. Accidentally walked in on guy peeing while checking bathrooms. Yelped "I'm blind!" and ran backwards out the door.
5. Forgot I was not invisible, did the robot dance while stopped at red light.
6. Got really into singing Cake's cover of "I Will Survive" and almost drove into a tree.
7. Ate mozarella sticks at dinner, had cheese hanging off chin for about 10 minutes.
8. Giant marinara stain in vicinity of crotch.
9. Wasn't paying attention when elevator stopped, didn't notice that the elevator wasn't quite level with floor, tripped, caught myself on dictionary stand, knocked over 500 lb dictionary and yelled "Shit!" in library.
10. Hit myself in the face with automatic umbrella.
Sometimes I wonder why I get out of bed in the morning.
