Ultimate weight loss plan! Foolproof! Look for my new diet plan on the covers of all the major women's magazines!

Step 1.
Either go to your local library or to your local bookstore and obtain a copy of Upton Sinclair's 'The Jungle'.

Step 2.
Either join Netflix or go to your local Blockbuster or video store and purchase entirety of 'Autopsy' series on DVD.

Step 3.
Read 'The Jungle'.

Step 4.
Watch 'Autopsy' especially that episode where they determine how long the girl was dead by her stomach contents.

Step 5.
Repeat.

Step 6.
Now try to eat something. I dare you.

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