I spent the past week in Texas, attending graduations and reminding myself just why exactly I left the Lone Star State.
First of all...allow me a brag moment. My best friend graduated from college on the 10th. Whee! Gooooo Meggin! And, the Saturday after that, my brother graduated from law school. *sniff* I'm so proud, except for the part where he becomes a lawyer. I shouldn't be so mean...my dad's a lawyer, an honest one no less.
A Basic Breakdown of my Vacation...
1. My father's side of the family has a long history of lovin' booze. On Sat. night, my dad rented out my brother's favorite local bar (it was like Cheers, everyone knew his name and was always glad when he came) and my entire family got together, demolished a keg of bad Texas beer and several bottles of Jagermeister and Jose Cuervo. Luckily, we're a family of happy drunks. I was nearly killed when my cousin, we'll call her "Sharp Shooter", tried to play darts, mistaking me for the dart board, and I became enraged, when, despite having a blood alcohol count three times the legal limit, my uncle, we'll call him "D2" beat me at Trivial Pursuit.
2. My cousin, we'll call him "Light Weight" can't hold his liquor. He spent Sunday hugging the toilet, missed his flight back to Indiana and required a whole extra day to recover.
3. I don't drink...ever. It was a personal decision I made around the age of 15 after spending way too much time dragging my father to bed from wherever he happened to have passed out. My other uncle, my father's brother, we'll call him "Dave" (hah! that's his name!), who is a recovering alcoholic, and I sat at the bar and made fun of everyone else. Dave took plenty of blackmail pictures, which he will no doubt show during Thanksgiving.
4. A friend of my dad's, who had missed my graduation last year, came to my brother's and gave me $100.00. Since I was in San Antonio, I forced my mom to take me to the Riverwalk mall, where there is a Sanrio store, and I proceeded to blow $50.00 there. I spent the rest on anime DVDs. Wahhooo! Nothing is better than wasting unexpected windfalls in exceedingly careless ways.
5. Why maybe moving back to Texas is not a good idea...
Texas has many selling points for me...my family and friends are all there, the best Mexican food in the U.S. is available only in El Paso, Whataburgers and Weinerschnitzels are regional chains, the only snow that can be found there is smuggled in from South America and Mexico.
But, it also has some major drawbacks...Houston, for example. (Sorry, but many Texans regard Houston as the boil on the butt of the Lone Star State, followed by San Antonio, which is, incidentally, the fattest city in the nation...some sources say 7th or 3rd, but according to the government, SA has the title of chunk city.) I hate the 100 + degree summers, the humidity in places other than El Paso, Houston, the unchecked urban sprawl (how many goddamned Starbucks and Gaps do you need?), the fact that when a Krispy Kreme opened in El Paso, it made the front page, while Bush's proposed tax cuts and general incompetence made page 3. Speaking of Bush, I also hate that the state of Texas elected the man TWICE, despite the fact that he was actively running the state into the toilet and the huge number of Republicans.
Oh, another thing that I hate...Southwestern interior design. I'm talking about the big eyed indian children who share wallspace with scanitly clad native women, Kokopelli, peach and turquoise colored pottery with beads, "Native" designs, cacti, etc. This always fills me with rage, but it is not limited to Texas.
Okay then...I think I've said enough for today. I've been goofing off too much and now there's a pile of books to be checked in and shelved. Wahoo.
