Hi, remember me? 2002 red Chevy Malibu with a dancing hula guy on the dashboard? I hope you do remember me since you almost became intimately acquainted with my fender.
I'm going on the assumtion that you do recall who I am and that I was the only person who nearly killed you today. So, hi.
Now, you may have noticed that, as I approached you, I moved towards the center of the road to give you room. I remembered that maneuver from one of my driver's ed class movies. Perhaps you saw the same film. I believe it was called "Blood Flows Red On The Highway" or something like that.
Anyway, in an eerie almost total re-enactment of the bicycle scene from that movie, you, inexplicably, swerved off the shoulder and into the road in front of me. Why? Seriously, why did you do that?
It looked like the asphalt was clear of any debris and I didn't see any wild mountain lions or rabid skunks charge out of the foliage towards you, with death in their eyes. No trees fell, no giant boulders rolled by, inches away from flattening you.
It was only because I got my driver's license in Texas, where Kami kaze-insane-stunt driving is a fact of life, that I avoided hitting you. I hope you were impressed by both my perfectly functioning brakes and fast reaction time. Also, wasn't it kind of cool that I managed to completely flip my car around so I was facing in the other direction?
Ahem, anyway,
I would like to ask you why you did that. Also, why did you feel compelled to flip me off once I had stopped my car? I don't recall that it was my fault you swerved into traffic. I didn't use any sort of psychic power to push you in front of me. If I did, it was entirely unintentional and I owe you an aplogy. However, I'm going on the assumption here that it was you and not my psychic powers that steered your bike onto the highway.
I hope you can provide me with some sort of answer here because I am genuinely puzzled. Perhaps your answer will prevent other accidents from occuring.
In the event that we never share any kind of communication, I would like to offer you some advice:
1. Perhaps you should stick to sidewalks and the village streets until you have a better handle on your bicycle. Leave the highway for the professionals.
2. It really isn't a good idea to flip off motorists. Your soft, fleshy body filled with delicate organs and bone like glass would be no match for a large metal and fiberglass vehicle, especially one driven by someone suffering from a severe case of road rage.
3. Especially on a lonely highway with no witnesses.
Thank you for giving this matter your attention and I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
The 2002 red Chevy Malibu with dancing hula guy on the dashboard
