Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

C'mon, J-Lo, shake that money maker in the direction of the needy!


2004-12-14 at 3:32 a.m.

I need to stop watching all those 'Fabulous Life of...' shows on VH-1. They just piss me off. Hey, J-Lo, if you can afford to buy a $5,000 pair of underwear, then why don't you pay for my grad school education? Or better yet, give to some libraries on your 'block'. They could use the money.

In terms of percentages, I give away A LOT of my annual net salary to charities and organizations I believe in, like cancer charities (in memory of my Aunt Linda), the ACLU, Amnesty International, the Red Cross, the March of Dimes, animal shelters, libraries and whatever local charities need help. I'm a sucker for cans at grocery store check-outs with pictures of babies or people who need help.

It's funny, but when I was hella poor and existing on ramen with no telephone or furniture and I was forced to "downsize", giving to charities was never something I considered stopping. I just gave less.

I get that from my parents. Only, when they couldn't give money, they gave time and I don't do that so much. I don't know how many days I spent in places like half-way houses that my mom helped run, or helping to build playgrounds in low income neighborhoods, and lord knows what else.

I know my parents do it because they grew up poor and understand what it's like to have to scrape and scrimp for the smallest of luxuries. They've done well for themselves and they believe in sharing the wealth, so they help out whereever they can. My brother and I, not growing up deprived at all, simply grew up thinking that giving back was something you did, like paying taxes or voting.

Normally, watching VH-1 doesn't inspire me to rant, but I guess I'm thinking about this because it's that time of year, when a lot of people are generous for a brief spate. I don't know, giving a homeless guy a turkey sandwich for Christmas is nice, I guess, but wouldn't it be better to help him out so that he might get a job and buy his own next year?

Now that's the gift that keeps on giving.

Don't worry folks. I'll be back to my usual irreverent self soon. Next time I'll talk about, I don't know...monkeys or something. Monkeys are funny.



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