Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

25 ft. Russel Crowe


2003-09-25 at 10:43 p.m.

I just had the wierdest freakin' dream.

I always take a nap before I go to my night job, and tonight was no exception.

In my dream, I was going home to visit my family. As I arrived at the airport, a big storm broke over the city. There was violent wind and rain and lightning.

My parents picked me up and we drove home. At the intersection before our house, I spotted a giant billboard for the new Russel Crowe movie, "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World".

On the billboard were several life-sized cutouts of some of the characters. Lording over all of them was a giant 25 ft. 3-D cut out of Russel Crowe, dressed as his character, in 19th century British navy garb.

We were stopped at the intersection when a great gust of wind came and knocked Russel Crowe down onto a couple of cars. We all watched in horror as the 25 ft. Russel Crowe cut out came to life, got up and went on a rampage, destroying the Arby's and the Wendy's that were at that intersection.

My mom did some crazy Dukes of Hazzard stunt driving and got us home, where we all took refuge in my room with the shutters drawn, praying that the 25 ft. Russel Crowe would bypass our house and go destroy our neighbor's because he looks like the Unabomber, painted his house baby-shit green and paved over his front lawn.

The 25 ft. Russel Crowe was peering into my bedroom window, growling, when I was awakened by my phone ringing.

I have no idea why I even dreamt that. Normally, my dreams have some connection to my reality. But, unless my subconsious has just revealed my secret fear of 25 ft. Russel Crowes going on rampages, I can't, honestly figure out what the hell that was all about.



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