Ahem. I am having a bad day. I feel off. Sort of achy (no, I haven't been spraying poisonous things in my room again), headachy and depressed. My boss at the university library has taken the evil slag's side on things at work, so my life there is officially a living hell.
I really, really, really want to quit, but that would mean giving up half my income. I hate the job and a lot of the people there, I hate the pettiness and politics, I hate all the stupid rules and I hate the way C.U. treats its employees. I've looked around for another job, but I'm just not finding anything that wouldn't require an hour commute each way.
Could I survive on half my income? I could still make rent payments, since that's my parents' domain, but what about everything else? Would I be able to make my credit card and utility payments? Would I be forced to eat ramen, live in a cold, dark room and watch blurry Mexican television, the only thing that comes on TV in the area when you don't have cable?
How much is my happiness worth to me? Quitting that job would make me very, very happy, but having to hoard every single penny just to survive would make me very, very sad. It's a trade off and, at this point, neither option is a good one. If only the wee public library could pay me more. I think at the beginning of the year I get a .25 raise. That's cents, people. Cents.
Sigh. At least my apartment issues have been taken care of, and my beef with Syracuse U. has been resolved. They finally let me register. So, two steps forward and three steps back.
I want to go home and curl up into bed until this year is over.
On a extremely happy note, I'm going home to Texas on Wednesday for a jolly family-style Thanksgiving. Family style being arguments, knife-play and cursing. Hopefully Uncle D. has developed those blackmail pictures from my brother's law school graduation. The one where my cousin's face is covered with cake and he's drooling on himself because he's pissed drunk should be good for about two hours of hysterical laughter. God, my family is awesome.
I know that going home, eating some Whataburger and mocking my brother for seven straight days will help lift this cloud that's hovering over me. If it doesn't then I might want to consider stronger medication, or just quitting my shitty job and taking my lumps.
Who knows. I'm depressed and I want to cry. Blllaaaahhhhh.
