I taught computer classes this morning to a group of hysterical old people. The kind that freak out when a message pops up, no matter what it says, and think that anything they do with the computer obviously has something to do with e-mail.
If I have to explain one more time that they don't automatically have an e-mail address, I think I'll scream.
They seem to believe that they were assigned an e-mail address like they were assigned a social security number. One of the elderly ladies wanted to check her e-mail, even though she didn't have an account anywhere. "But, surely I have some e-mail!" She exclaimed.
Another lady who did have an e-mail account received some porn spam and promptly freaked out. She's convinced that the government thinks she's a pervert or something.
I try to go slow, to stop every once and a while to make sure they understand, but it's very frustrating.
Certain ideas that are as basic to me as breathing are foreign to these people. I've been on a computer since I was 5 years old, when my dad brought home an Apple, one of his impulse buys.
Of course, back then, everything was text based. I would sit for hours, trying to play Transylvania and the game would look like this:
Computer: In front of you is a castle. You can go N, E, S, W.
Me: Go N
Computer: You go N. In front of you is a bridge. You hear a howl in the distance.
Me: Cross bridge
Computer: I do not understand that command.
Me: Bridge
Computer: You can go N, E,S,W.
Me: Go N.
Computer: A werewolf eats you.
Me: Damn it!
Computer: I do not understand that command. You are dead.
Woo. Stop the excitement before I have a coronary! That stupid werewolf was always eating me. That or I would get stuck in this infinite loop where I couldn't see to escape the castle and then a vampire would get me. It sucked. Literally.
So, long story short, I know computers. I get the idea of a desktop, an operating system and the differences between them, Macs and PCs, icons, the whole shebang. I don't shriek and throw up my hands when Microsoft Word automatically underlines a misspelled word. I don't panic when that stupid paperclip appears in the corner and tries to talk to me, etc.
One of the ladies got mad at me today and said, "Well, I bet you couldn't handle a record player!"
Actually, I can. And typewriters. Heck, I've even dealt with an 8-Track before. So, it's not just about being out of the technology loop, it's about people who are too impatient to take the time to learn something. I can deal with those things because I take a minute to fiddle around with them and see how they work.
But not these people. They want their e-mail and they want it NOW.
It took me almost 20 years of computer use to get to the point where I am now. I slogged through Q-Basic programming, C++, Microsoft Windows 1.0, you name it and I've probably dealt with it. Tjey want to be able to do the things I can and they seem to think that a month's worth of classes will do it for them.
What I can't seem to impart to these people is that it takes time and patience to learn computers. Heck, it takes time and patience to learn anything. They're not going to get it overnight. I urge them to practice as often as they can, but they don't.
And so, every Tuesday morning, I drag my ass out of bed and schlepp over to the library and spend an hour calming old ladies who don't understand why they have to work so hard.
It's not just old people. I see the same thing at the University Library. The library recently bought a $25,000.00 self-check out machine. It's the most expensive paper-weight I've ever seen.
Barely anyone uses it. They make a half-hearted attempt and the second it doesn't seem to work, they give up.
I was the lucky gimp who got to take it for a test drive last summer when it was first set up. It took me 4 minutes. You have to read the instructions on the screen and really, they're quite clear. It boggles me that college students, who don't have the lack-of-technology excuse that old people have (even less, since they're 5-6 years younger than me!)can't figure out a simple thing like that. They don't want to take the time. So, they give up.
It's a pet peeve of mine, really. Everytime someone comes up to the desk, laughs and says, "Well, it's too much for me!" I want to say, "Then you must be a retard since the instructions were written at a fourth grade level."
Naturally, I don't. That would be rude of me and I do realize that I'm awful prejudiced about these things.
