You know it's the first day of Spring because the wind gusts hit 50 mph.

You know that it only snows if it was at least 75 the day before.

You cringe whenever you see a CHIH MEX license plate.

You can get sunburned and wind burned in the same hour.

You can give a stranger exact directions to the Electric-Q disco in Juarez.

You don't go near the Rio Grande. Ever.

You think that anyone who lives on the West side drives a BMW and all the people
on the East side are gangsters.

The only national monuments you have been to are White Sands and the Chamizal.

You have a least four T-shirts that have "In loving memory" on the back.

You know the difference between "ya'll" and "all ya'll".

You know where the "real" first Thanksgiving took place.

You thinkg Western Playland is the place to be in the summer.

You have tried to fry an egg on the sidewalk in July.

You invest a great deal of money in hair spray in the spring.

The only thing you stocked up on for Y2K were tortillas.

You know what all those letters on the mountain stand for.

You can see three different states and two countries from your backyard.

The first place you go when you come back in town is Chico's Tacos.

When you are lost in Juarez at night, you can always find your way back by looking for
the star on the mountain.

Seeing the Asarco tower gives you that warm and fuzzy home feeling.

You have talked about leaving for about ten years, but you are still here.

You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.

You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.

You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.

You dress up to go shopping at the mall.

You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree.

You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.

You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.

You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.

You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.

You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud

Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department

You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents

You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine

You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.

You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team"

You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.

You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.

Your Pastor wears boots.

There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.

The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.