Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Now that I've told you, you will have to die!


2004-07-06 at 6:30 p.m.

I got to use the phrase "sticky wicket" in a paper! I rock!!


Ahem, all that aside, the paper was a rather dry treatise on the trials and tribulations of cataloging mixed-media items. I know, I know. If my life got any more exciting, no one would believe it was true. They'd say I made it all up. Can't you just hear all the naysayers?:

Naysayer 1: Pft. That Gem-chan, this week she claimed to have written a paper on...get this, cataloging NON-PRINT ITEMS!

Naysayer 2: Yeah right. She made that up! She is such a liar. What next? A paper on special interface issues faced by users while working with a specific information system?!

Actually, yes. But I won't write about it because I know all of you can't handle it. Hell, I can barely handle it and I LIVE IT EVERY DAY!

Hee hee. Sometimes, when my Dad and Big Al start going into the minutae of legal codes, I whip out all my mad library knowledge and that just shuts them right up. It shuts everybody up, and puts them to sleep. It's useful, really. If I were a supervillan, this would be my evil power.

"Don't look directly into her eyes or she'll hypnotize you with AACR II codes until your brain explodes!"

And then I'd have a ray gun that would make everybody somehow know all the different sections of the Dewey Decimal System and that knowledge would so overload their brains that they would forget why they were fighting me and then they'd dedicate their lives to the art of making little dolls out of used pantyhose, thus allowing me to take over the world.

I've got it all planned out.

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