I am up to my lower buttcheeks in library marketing strategies. Today in class we tried to finalize our ideas and come up with fun slogans to advertise them.
Alas, my proposal to introduce tasers for use by librarians to improve morale was roundly tabled. Short sighted bastards! So now I'm marketing improvement in information literacy or some such crap. Bah!
While we were sitting around, batting about pithy little sayings to get people excited about reading or whatever, I came up with many slogans that I have decided to put on t-shirts and sell to support my lifestyle of dissipation and excess.
Observe:
In the children's area:
Tasers: Not just for criminals anymore! (Keep an eye on your kids!)
Beware of Librarian!
Fear is a legitimate teaching tool.
Sure, google can find stuff, but can it be sexy while doing it? LIVE! CLOTHED! LIBRARIANS! TYPING THINGS! STAMPING! SEXILY!
On occasion, we want to scream and smack you with a book, but usually we're actually pretty helpful. Live dangerously, ask a librarian.
Actually, there ARE stupid questions, but ask your librarian anyway.
Books good! Fire bad!
Librarians give it away for free.
The Kama Sutra is a book. Librarians know books. Think about it.
My Friends of the Library Group Could Beat Up Your Friends of the Library Group.
Stupid People Can!
That's all I have right now, except for a headache. I'm telling you, the t-shirts will sell like hotcakes. Hotcakes smothered in the maple syrup of commerce. Mmm...commerce.