Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Movie Review: Once Upon A Time In Mexico


2003-09-14 at 12:21 a.m.

Yeah, I really liked "Once Upon A Time In Mexico". Johnny Depp was fab. That man specializes in playing the wierdest characters on celluloid. Lord, how I love him.

He had the honor of uttering the absolute best line in the history of cinema. (According to me, anyway.)

Depp (as Agent Sands): Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?

Bwahahaaaa! I chortled so hard I sucked Pepsi up my nose.

So, there were a few cheesy moments, like when Antonio rode down the stairs on his guitar case like it was a skateboard, but overall, I really liked this movie.

It was ultraviolent, bloody and there were several scenes with a high "ick" factor. You'll know when you see them.

If you go to movies to analyze scene composition, light placement and character development, if you believe that the best films were made in France in the 1950's and 60's then please, go join my insufferable cinema teacher at some tiny, stuffy theatre where they serve lattes and watch some Fellini movies with the rest of the intellectual snobs.

I will be happily snarfing down popcorn and chugging soda with the rest of the hoi polloi and be thoroughly, mindlessly entertained. Just like God intended.

Review Capsule: 10 stars possible

Beefcake Factor: 9

Wierdness Factor: 10

Humor Factor: 8

Blood and Guts Factor: 10

Wilem Dafoe is Creepy Factor: 10

Good Mexican Food Envy Factor: 9

Plot Factor: 7

Number of People Killed: 1,000,000,000

Number of Empty Eye Sockets Shown: 3

Johnny Depp Cool Moments: 50

Over All Rating: 9

Take that, Gene Shalit!

Currently Reading: Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them by Al Franken

-Loving every liberally biased moment of it! Love you, Al!

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