See, I really wanted to see 'Elf', because it's gotten good reviews and I love John Favreau. I really do. I want to put him in my pocket. *Ahem* Anyway...
'Elf' was great. Treacly and fantastic and wierd enough to make me like it. Will Ferrell reminds me of this guy I went to high school with, Tong Hyon, who was constantly humping podiums and doing goofy things to make us laugh. Will Ferrell is like that, only he's not Korean. And I have no idea if he's ever humped a podium. I'm going off the subject again. Sorry.
Another reason to see it was that Amy Sedaris, sister to David Sedaris was in it. She was wonderful on her Comedy Central show, 'Strangers with Candy' and her collaborations with her brother have been hilarious. She didn't have a big role, but still. I do all I can to support the Sedaris family.
Right. Loved the movie. Hated the audience. It was all children. And, despite the theatre's ban on children under 2, there were an awful lot of babies in the room. But it was my fault for going to see a PG film in the middle of the day. Bad me! No cookie! Next time, I either see the latest evening showing or wait for it on video because I absolutely cannot stand children in movie theatres.
See, I've been militant like this all my life. My parents NEVER took me or my brother out until we were old enough to put the fear of God into. We didn't go to movies or anything until my mom had trained us to fear her patented evil eye and immediately lapse into silence.
When we did go out before we were trained, it was to family style places, places where my mom could lean over and threaten death and no one would bat an eye.
I didn't get too mad today because, like I said above, I did it to myself. It's like walking into Chuckie Cheese's and getting mad because there are so many damn kids running around. I'm not that curmudgenly yet. Give me a few years.
Bah! Damn kids! It's really strange, because I get all squishy around Baby J. Maybe because I've been around her all her life and I've watched her grow from a bump to this crazy 2 year old with a penchant for mermaids, cackling madly, pickles and taking her pants off in the middle of fine retail establishments.
She's awesome. But other kids? No thank you. Please drive through.
We don't take Baby J to movies or to nice restaurants. We are limited to family fare and video rentals, or at least Special K is. I can get away from time to time. But, see? We don't take her anywhere where she could be annoying. Nope. No siree.
Once, my parents were at the symphony and this family came with their two little kids, one of which was an infant. How they made it past security, I'll never know. But anyway, thirty minutes in or so, the baby started caterwauling, like babies do. IN THE MIDDLE OF A SYMPHONY PERFORMANCE. It wasn't even the Nutcracker or other family fare.
So, the crazy Eastern European conductor whose name seems lack any vowels, stops his orchestra in mid-performance, turns around, points his baton at the family and screams at them to get out. It was fan-fuckin'-tastic. The family fled. Everyone cheered. My mom loves that story and she tells it as often as possible.
Ah. I feel purged. Parents, leash your children and don't forget to clean up after them.
