Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Paul Is Dead, So Says Mom


2004-02-26 at 1:34 a.m.

Me: So, mom, has dad recovered from his apoplexic Nader-related fit?

Mom: No. He's still laying on the couch, bitching about venal fuckheads.

Me: Must be fun.

Mom: You have no idea. It's 1968 all over again.

Me: What, you're both smoking pot and listening to Beatles albums backwards?

Mom: That whole playing the record backwards thing never worked. And I've never smoke pot in my life.

Me: Liar. Dad says you did.

Mom: Your father also said there was a lost tribe of Indians called the Watchahooties.

Me: You make an interesting point. But you know, he once told me this hilarious story about you and this pot party.

Mom: He didn't! He swore he would never tell!

Me: Oh, how I laughed. How did it go? You had just transferred to UT Austin from some little small town college and got invited to a pot party, which you, in your sheltered naivety thought was a pot luck party. What did you take? A tuna casserole?

Mom: It was a beef noodle casserole. And let me tell you, those hippies were real happy to have that casserole after an hour or so.

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