Tomorrow, or, er, actually TODAY, begins yet another round of children's story hours. *cue the horrified shrieks* I try, I really do, but ever since I made the retarded little girl cry, I've just lost my enthusiasm for the whole thing.
One of my staff people is really into it. She does the Thursday reading. This week, she's doing...beavers. I know, I know. She's got this beaver tail and a mask and...God help us all, a beaver puppet (I know, I giggled like a fifteen year old boy when she stuck her hand into the beaver.) all ready for the kiddies. They love that shit.
But I will never, ever, EVER be able to stick my hand up a beaver's butt, cute children be damned. Nor will I speak in silly voices, hold conversations with anything made out of felt or in any way be interested in what the hell does actually happen if you were to give a moose a muffin, not even theoretically.
But I will go in and choose a book that's not too long and not too short and not too stupid and I will read it with suitable enthusiasm. And hopefully, no retarded children will cry.
Currents...
Currently Reading...
Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything your American History textbook got wrong by James W. Loewen
AND
Maggie Needs An Alibi by Kasey Michaels
Currently Watching...
CSI
Dead Like Me
Penn and Teller: Bullshit!
Currently Hearing...
The whir of the fan
Current Mild Annoyance...Okay, More than Mild
The fact that I got my official fuck you letter from the Library of the Underworld and Brimstone University on the same day as I got a letter from B.U. begging me for money.
I also was annoyed by the booklet they sent with a list of people in my graduating year who have donated money, all neatly separated into groups like 'The President's Club' ($5,000.00 or more, AKA, the President Will Give You A Blowjob), 'The Oak Club' ($1,000-4,999 AKA, You Will Be Allowed To Smack Scholarship Students With An Oak Club) and the Maroon Club (Less $1,000 AKA You Suck, You Cheapskate, but not as badly as the people who haven't donated at all. They suck more.)These names had all sorts of asterisks and other fancy little bullets by them that designated them as 'Friends for Life', 'Biggest Badass', 'Brotherhood of the Giant Schlong' etc., because the cliques don't ever go away, even years after you've graduated. I wish they had a list of people who sent them letters telling them to fuck themselves. Like me. I would be at the top of that list, with all sorts of mad asterisks.
