She apparently got hit by a car.
I never knew I could cry so hard. I mean, I lost it. It's only been about twenty minutes and I'm still crying. But for a while there, I was heaving. Loudly. I think my family either thought I was having a spontaneous orgasm or that I had hired a professional troupe of Chinese funeral mourners to entertain us during dinner.
I need to be funny right now because otherwise I'm going to lose it again.
So laugh, damn you! Laugh!
It's actually a good thing that this happened while I'm with my family here. I mean, Thanksgiving is ruined, but can you imagine if I'd been all alone in New York? Big, heaving sobs at my only place of comfort, Wal-Mart. And I'd rather not be banned there, you know?
My dad cried with me, which really only made me cry harder. Grown men crying make me lose it. My best friend was here, too, being sweet, letting me get drool and snot all over her leather jacket.
I just thought of another good thing. Upstairs, on the table is a giant fucking buffet of comfort food. Starchy, buttery and guarenteed to make my ass bigger.
I know my tone in this entry has been rather flip, but I always have a hard time being upset and I deal with it by cracking jokes.
It's funny, I don't remember crying this hard when my aunt died, but then again, we all knew she was dying and, by the time we got the call, I had grieved a lot. I wasn't expecting Hilde to get hit by a car, I was always afraid of it, every time the stupid little shit would run into the street, but I never expected Special K to call.
Not during my fucking happy fucking family time.
Crap. I'm crying again. Do you know how hard it is to see the keys when you're teary?
The hardest thing, I think, is when I go home, I'm going to be looking for her and she's not going to be there. Oh, this hurts.