This is what happens when you goof off during work: you stumble across some of the ugliest dresses you've seen since, well, since the Golden Globes. (Nicole Kidman-what were you thinking?)
I've uploaded them here so you can see them in all their skanky glory.
Exhibit 1:
Now, I could be wrong, but I'm fairly certain that I saw a bedspread in that exact same pattern about fifteen years ago. Lots of people had bedspreads like this in the '80s. And now they are being recycled into uber-fashionable dresses for the bridesmaid you hate. The one that slept with your fiance.
Here's another one:
Different style, same kind of ugly.
Exhibit 2:
My Barbie, circa 1985, had a dress just like this. It glowed in the dark. Do you think this dress does, too?
Exhibit 3:
This is another bridesmaid dress from hell. Those long bits of ribbon that are dangling from the sleeves are an escalator/industrial fan accident waiting to happen.
Exhibit 4:
There's nothing exactly wrong with this dress, I mean, I wouldn't wear it to church, but it's not bad. What brought it to my attention is that it is available up to a size 34. Not a French 34 or some sort of other European sizing. No, an American 34. A size 34 is, for you who don't know these things, about a 6X or 7X. That's over 300 pounds. 300 pounds of flesh hanging over the skirt, jutting out from between the back lacing...blech. I'm about to lose my lunch.
Sticking a fat woman in that dress would be a crime against humanity so horrible, Amnesty International and the Red Cross would have to get involved.
