Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Just smile and nod.


2004-07-17 at 8:43 a.m.

If a friend ever sends you something she's written for your opinion, don't ever, ever, even in the spirit of friendship, attempt to critique or correct it. Believe me, it will just come back and bite you in the ass. No, the best defense in a situation such as this is a polite, "Gee, that's great!" Anything else will get you stricken from Christmas card lists for eternity.

Plus, she'll think you're uppity with all your old-fashioned views on sentence and story structure.


It's 8 in the morning and I haven't gone to sleep yet. I was up all night reading smutty medieval romances. Stories that heavily favor phrases such as "plow the wench's belly", and "he filled her with his seed". I never knew farming could be so dirty. Now whenever the library gets its copy of the 'Small Famer's Journal', I'm going to blush and giggle.

Does anyone else hate the word 'manhood'? Or how about 'man's rod'? I'm just asking. I mean, I could be going along quite happily, reading my smutty story, and then I stumble over one of these phrases and it just makes me laugh.

I don't think I'll ever be able to use either of those phrases in any type of real-life situation, unless I'm writing a smutty medieval romance that is, because if my partner happened to attempt dirty talk and used those phrases, I would probably laugh us both off the bed. And concussions aren't sexy.

Lord, I'm tired. Maybe now would be a good time to see if I can finally get some sleep. Dammit. My sleep schedule is all screwed up thanks to this whole "I only have one job and therefore a lot of free time on my hands" situation. Somebody, please, end my misery and employ me so that I may experience the misery that only gainful employment can give.

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