Late book? ZAP! He didn't rewind? ZAP!
And then, if they stole stuff, I'd go over to their house and ZAP! 'em twice. Once for punishment and once just for shits and giggles.
They'd learn to bring everything back on time after a few well placed electric shots to their gonads, I tell ya. They'd also learn to fear me.
Peanut Gallery: Are you sure she should be running a library?
Me: Of course! Nyah!
Anyway, enough of my passive-aggressive aggression. I voted yesterday in the village election. It was so cute! Seriously, who knew the electoral process could be so hands down adorable?
It was held in the village office. Two little old ladies with about a hundred boxes of Girl Scout Cookies between them signed me in and then handed me a hand-written Xeroxed ballot and a pen. Then, they pointed to a giant wooden box that said BALLOTS and that had to be at least 75 years old and told me to get to it.
The election was for village trustee. It was between one guy with a gimpy leg and this other guy who owes the library money. Guess who I voted for? Go Gimpy Legged Public Servant, Go!
Then, after I voted, one of the little old ladies gave me a cookie. It was probably illegal, but let me tell you, that was the most delicious illicit cookie I've ever had.
1 people think I should be armed.
