Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

I Heart Tito


2004-02-03 at 1:43 p.m.

Hm. I have to do a Valentine's Day display today at the wee library. Which, I think, is sort of like asking an atheist to do a Christmas pagent.

Yeah, I'm enthused. Enthused like a fox. That didn't really make sense and I apologize. Anyway, I kind of hate doing hokey lovey-dovey crap as my life is pretty much devoid of such sentiments. Maybe if somebody would just freakin' buy me chocolate, I'd be more into this whole thing.

Maybe I should have taken pictures of the teenaged couple playing tonsil hockey at the front desk while I checked out some movies for them. I could post those along with some important literature about teen pregnancy and STDs. Heh.

I was actually thinking about doing a St. Valentine's Day Massacre display complete with all sorts of fun books and movies about the mob and the Roarin' 20s and maybe some toy guns and fake blood, but my boss nixed the idea. Grinch.

Bah. I'll just go toss up some red construction paper hearts and some smutty novels and be done with it.


Apparently, theres's some sort of controversy swirling around d-land about fake journalists? I don't know. Just like in real life, I am excluded from the cool in-the-know groups.

Just so you know, I am 100% disgruntled librarian. Every thing I write about is true. Except that part about me being sexy. I'm actually kind of frumpy. Sorry I lied about that. But everything else is true.

For example, those conversations with my mom aren't made up. They actually happened. Just in case you were wondering. Yes, my brother did get an obscenely high paying job (he will now buy me a birthday present this year or I will kill him), yes, my dad did get bit in the ass by a scorpion and he did spill shoe polish everywhere (he's still paying for that one) and yes, my mother really did paint the kitchen a shade of yellow that made me think I was floating in a vat of Andres Serrano's urine.

That, by the way was a semi-obscure art history reference to Serrano's controversial work, Piss Christ. Yes, Piss Christ. It was a photograph of a cruxifix suspended in yellow liquid that looked like urine. Another obscure reference was yesterday's mention of Tito, Mr. Jackson if you're nasty.

But I was really thinking of Josip Broz Tito, Mr. Prime Minister of Yugoslavia, um, if you're nasty.

Mr. Prime Minister Tito (I'm nasty!) was the reason I burst into uncontrollable giggles during my 20th Century Eastern European history classes, which struck my professors and classmates as odd since there's not much to laugh about in 20th Century Eastern European history.

Unless you're me, in which case, someone mentioning a picture of Tito in a tank would send me into fits of hysterical laughter as I pictured Tito Jackson riding in a tank, his jeri-curled hair flapping in the wind as he rode down the street, waving at the downtrodden masses waiting in line for bread.

I would also start laughing whenever anyone mentioned Tito standing up to Stalin. Mental picture...lord, you do not want me in your class. I am a dork.

Hm. Is that all I have to say today? Yeah. I feel typed out. Plus, I'm at work and well, it's kind of obvious I'm goofing off. I guess I'll go print out some pictures of cupids or something for the bulletin board. Maybe I'll give them guns, just to amuse myself.



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