Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Tossing Cookies on Important Political Figures


2005-08-18 at 1:34 a.m.

So, last month I wrote a super pathetic letter to our new state rep., begging him for money for the library. I figured, hell, it wouldn't hurt, right?

Right!

He's blowing through E'ville on Tuesday and wants to meet with me and tour the library. I have been going insane, dusting and cleaning and organizing. There are books left over from the book sale that need to be taken to the dump, (breathe, people, they're broken, out-dated and unsellable.)things that need to be fixed, light bulbs that need to be changed, and OH MY GOD WILL I GET IT DONE IN TIME?!

I feel like it's my mother coming to visit. I'm also conflicted. If I make the library look too nice, will he think I'm a liar? Should I make it a little shabby? Should I hide the DVDs? Should I have big-eyed, dirty children in ragged clothes hanging out in the library, holding books and moaning, "Please sir, can I have some more?"

Yikes! And what about me? Should I also look a little shabby and under-paid? Should I pull out some teeth? Or should I break out the nice-wear and attempt to look like an adult?

Maybe I should get my hair cut this weekend. And wax my mustache. And shave my legs! And find a skirt! Oh my God, do I have a skirt that looks professional, one that doesn't make me look like a professional hooker? (Leopard print won't do, naughty Catholic school girl is a no-no, ditto the sassy Geisha skirt...damn it!) Maybe some pants. Then I wouldn't have to shave my legs. But then will I look like a butch lesbian? Argh!

I worry because I really, really, really want to make a good impression on him and get some much needed moolah for the library. And because, when I'm faced with real adults, I have to act like one, too, and I'm a terrible actress. Will I mention badgers again? Or ruminate on cheese quality? Will my handshake be limp and damp? Will I vomit on him like he's the Japanese Prime Minister? Does anyone even remember that?

Okay, *deep cleansing breath*. I got through the grant foundation meeting without mentioning badgers or cheese or projectile vomiting. I even came off as, *gasp* knowledgeable and confident. I can do this. I will just pretend to be my mom, who is a bad ass. She handles things like this all the time and never makes a fool out of herself. And I don't think she's ever vomited on anyone.


Currents...

Currently Reading...
Bubbles A Broad by Sarah Strohmeyer
Kind of like Janet Evanovich, funny and light.

Currently Hearing...
Foo Fighters, In Your Honor
Very listen-able, indeed. I also find it funny that I have the FF's CDs right next to my Hole CDs. I suspect that when I close the case, they fight.


Currently Watching...
Bleach, mostly. Ahhh, I love me some anime.



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