Mark Twain

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


Dorothy Parker

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.


Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.

Vermicious K'nids and Wicked Whangdoodles!


2005-07-17 at 3:35 a.m.

Weeeelllll...I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tonight, you know, when I should have been working on my 20-minute Power Point presentation on digital libraries. You know what I hate about school? Totally cramps my lifestyle. Anyway, CatCF...

I liked it. The only parts I didn't like were the dumb-ass add-ons that Tim Burton and Co. did to give Willy Wonka a back story and the re-written ending. Those, I did not like, mercifully, they were mostly brief little blips in an otherwise great movie. When they stuck to the story and spirit of the book, they did just fine and dandy.

Johnny Depp did very well capturing a sort of eeeevvvviiilll sweet and goofiness that I enjoy, although he was sort of creepy in a (dare I say the same thing everyone else is saying?) Michael Jackson kind of way.

And that little boy...Freddie Highmore? I don't want him to grow up. I want him to be as cute as he is now in 50 years. I want him flash-frozen and only paraded out to play disgustingly cute little boys in movies.

Oooh, I have decided that for ultimate happiness, I will require the following:

1 million saucy Oompa Loompas (all played by a tiny little Indian man with a porn name. Deep Roy. Heh.)

1 eccentric pseudo-pedophile millionaire

20 trained squirrels

Fudge Mountain

I'm easy to please.

Incidentally, I will like to reiterate once again how freakin' awesome I think Roald Dahl is. He was a wicked little man with a dark side that was impossible to hide in any of his stories. I love him like I love James Thurber, Dorothy Parker, Edward Gorey and Jasper Fforde.

It is my recommendation that for maximum happines, you read at least 5 Roald Dahl books a year.

Recommended Reading List:

1. Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator
My favorite! So much cooler that CatCF!

2. The BFG
The Big Friendly Giant. Not, as originally thought (thanks, Bobito)The Big Fuckin' Giant

3. Matilda
Sassy heroine defeats evil parents! Psychic powers! An former Olympian hurdling children over fences!

4. The Witches
Ignore the movie. Honest. It was stupid.

5. The Roald Dahl Omnibus
Ok, technically, this is a collection of short stories written for adults. It's magnificent. Honestly. Read 'Bitch' if you read nothing else.



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