I was supposed to work at Brimstone University's Library of the Underworld two days this week because it's Spring Break and I don't have to be there nights.
So, my boss signed me up to work Monday morning (9 AM-UGH!) and Friday morning. Tragically, (for them, anyway) I can't work Friday because at the exact same time I'm supposed to be at the library, I'll be in a plane, heading towards Dallas and my family disaster...er, I mean event.
Since I have yet to learn how to clone myself, I decided to come into work this morning. I indicated the change on the boss's calendar and dragged my ass out of bed at 8 AM so I could be there, bright and early to do the evil minions' bidding.
Well, after spending a good hour and a half running around finding ILLs and shelving books, my boss then decides to take me to task IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY for:
A. Working today instead of tomorrow and
B. MOST IMPORTANTLY-Writing on her calendar. She was really upset that I dared write on her calendar in pencil. She went on and on about that stupid calendar like I had tattooed 'FUCK YOU' on her granddaughter's forehead.
I didn't have to come in today. I could have said "Oh, so sorry!" But I thought that would be rude and unprofessional. I should have been rude and unprofessional. I HATE getting lectures on stupid, petty things and being made the feel like a moron in front of staff, student workers and patrons. I REALLY, REALLY HATE IT. REALLY. REALLY.
And then, somehow they found out that I had been promoted to director of the Wee Library. The evil slag smirked and said: "Well, they must have been really desperate. Ha ha."
I bit my lip so hard it bled because otherwise I would have said something she would have regretted. Something about her being a bitter, evil, fat old cow with the face of a rabid badger and an ass so large it has its own Dewey Decimal section. And then I would have said something to the boss about how she was a bad manager and that things could only get better when she retired, unless the evil slag got her job in which case the circulation department would become even more despised and useless than it already is. And then I would have quit.
But being poor has made me a complete whore. I have to keep this job otherwise I can't afford to live. So, I said those things in a curse word laden diatribe in my head as I drove to my second job.
Dammit.
I tend to be a bit sensitive about people downgrading my accomplishments because, for example, the library I have just been promoted director of, is very small. I still think it's a big deal, I still think I've done something pretty amazing at age 23.
In high school I graduated 4th in my class, which really impresses everyone until they ask me how many people were in my class. The answer is 11. There were 11 people in my class. When they hear that they laugh and say, "Well, it must've not been too hard to be fourth!"
I get annoyed because, actually, it was DAMN hard to be 4th. The valedictorian and saludatorian were about a decimal point apart. I had something like a 3.8 grade point average. I came in fourth because third place person had like a 3.85. I was yearbook editor, student council president, a member of the swimteam and a fucking bad ass and no, I didn't get into Colgate because I checked the Hispanic box on my application. *DEEP BREATH*
Sorry for my rant. This is one area I'm really sensitive about. I really hate the idea of people thinking I get ahead because I'm given all sorts of breaks or because I choose the easier paths.
Nothing has been easy for me. I've earned EVERY SINGLE THING. Want to know how I got promoted to director? By working my butt off for 2 years, by going the extra mile, by sacrificing a lot. Want to know how I graduated 4th in my class with honors? By not having much of a life.
Oooh, I am soooo annoyed now. I think I'm going to pound out some more nasty letters until I calm down.
1 people think I should take a deep, cleansing Zen breath
